This is a very sensitive process, and we need help to make sure we don’t hurt ourselves and others. With the realization of how deeply we https://ecosoberhouse.com/ have hurt others through our addiction, we understand that amends must be made. In this step, we attempt to remove some of the debris created in the past through our actions. Spero Recovery Center is a peer-based residential recovery program.

Step Series

• To prepare for this step it’s a good idea to let go of all our expectations about how our amends will or should turn out.
• It is their job to make sure we make amends in the right way and for the right reasons.
• Today I am working on (the behaviors noted above) by ___________________.
• Sometimes we may feel emotionally unsafe in making 12-Step amends.
• Yes, we partake in the process to „clean up our side of the street,“ but we do not make amends to clear our conscience or undo our feelings of guilt.

The FHE Health team is committed to providing accurate information that adheres to the highest standards of writing. This is part of our ongoing commitment to ensure FHE Health is trusted as a leader in mental health and addiction care. According to The Big Book, the purpose of amends is to admit, take accountability for and address the harm caused. This may involve apologizing and, when necessary, making restitution to a person, or organization. Step 9, often seen as one of the most challenging, requires courage, humility, and guidance. More than an apology, it’s about making genuine amends—taking action to correct past mistakes without causing harm.

• Personal advice is always helpful when we are trying to judge a situation.
• By confronting past mistakes, you begin to put the past behind and embrace a brighter, healthier future.
• This step seeks inner peace and rebirth through the act of making things right, but only when it won’t harm others in the process.
• Making amends can also reduce stress, by addressing past wrongs may prevent future conflicts that could jeopardize sobriety.

Ways to Make Amends in Recovery

Figure out ways to improve upon them, and tell your loved ones what you’re working on to help you improve. These changes in behavior help toward the goal of reestablishing relationships or making them stronger. When choosing to make amends, exercise careful consideration of yourself and others to ensure you avoid causing further harm in your recovery efforts. Before you decide who to approach and how you intend to make amends, reflect on your efforts at recovery and the intent behind making amends. Profess your faith in Christ as our one and only Savior, and receive eternal life. Having faith will give you the courage, strength, and motivation to make amends and offer forgiveness.

Addiction Treatment Programs

In particular, he discusses how to living amends definition heal when the person we need to make amends with is no longer living. If we had not done the work in the first eight steps, we wouldn’t now have a foundation on which to stand while we make our amends. If we had not developed a relationship with a Higher Power, we wouldn’t now have the faith and trust that we definitely need to work Step Nine!

What about the relationships we ruined, the emotional wreckage we created? Sometimes direct amends are not possible, and this is where living amends come into play. Having a sponsor helps with the ninth step, as sponsors work side-by-side with recovering alcoholics what is Oxford House and help determine how to handle making amends. Many sponsors bring an awareness of why individuals are motivated to express amends and can question the beneficial purpose of sharing such information from the past. Perhaps, the amends that you wanted to make might not seem right after discussing with a sponsor.

Apologies vs. Amends

There is nothing quite like experiencing increased humility while making amends in your Ninth Step and recognizing the self-empowerment and self-love that comes with it. Humility is the freedom from pride or arrogance and having the quality or state of being humble. In the Ninth Step, we will focus on the spiritual principles of humility, forgiveness and love.

• We gain humility as a result of taking a good look at the damage we did to others (and ourselves) and accepting responsibility for it.
• His addiction also “drove me to suicide,” he revealed to Entertainment Tonight in 2016.
• Through diligent work, you have made steady progress in admission, accountability and surrender of the power addiction once held over you.
• Today, I know my words have value whether they pay attention or not.
• That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
• Sometimes, making direct amends with someone may lead to further harm.

My only goal right now is to acknowledge the harm I caused and do what I can to make amends, if that’s possible. For example, we might intend to go to a friend’s birthday party, but in actuality, we fail to show up for the event. While we might apologize later for missing the party, our apology consists of words rather than actions or changed behavior. And those words ring hollow when we repeatedly break our promises. So, to truly make amends, we have to offer more than words. Step Nine can leave you emotionally exhausted; it’s a difficult step to navigate.